“Don’t jeopardise a relationship by failing to listen when the other person is speaking” Debra Fine.

Scientific research has shown that people can listen at the rate of approximately 300 words a minute. On the other hand, most of us can speak at only 150 - 200 words a minute. This goes to prove the old expression that as we have two ears and one mouth, we should listen twice as much as we speak!

Easier said than done.

Our dilemma is that the human mind has the capacity to take in much more information than one person can possibly produce verbally for us at any given time. So, what do we do with the extra capacity? We put it to use of course: we eavesdrop on other conversations taking place around us at the time, we start thinking about the price of fuel, or we drift away into our private thoughts, and suddenly we have gone too far… and lost focus completely on what the person in front of us has been saying!

Psychoanalyst Dr Ann Appelbaum wrote in the newsletter of a US Clinic:
“The image of the voice crying in the wilderness epitomizes the loneliness, the madness of not being heard. So great is our need and hunger for validation, that good listeners are prized.”

We have to accept that conversations with colleagues and clients contribute to the development of relationship. On this basis it is not optional, but a necessary courtesy as a conversational partner, to listen when the other person is speaking.